Sometimes I dread being an adult. Occasionally, and I'm sure I'm not alone on this, I just want to stay in my pajamas for the entire day, watch junk tv, drink hot chocolate and contemplate life and what clearance dress from Anthropologie won't make me look like a giant baby doll.
However, days are no longer like this and as much as I dread the busy days, I also love them at the same time. I love the feeling of accomplishment when I check off a to do list. I love getting up early(ish) in the morning and feeling like the whole day is ahead of me. An entire day. Do you remember what a day was when you were a kid? Do you remember when you were in elementary school and every minute that passed in the last 5 minutes of class seemed like an eternity? I remember when my little 3rd grade class had been particularly rowdy, our teacher said that she was forcing us to wait an entire minute for recess and stand at our desks until that minute was up. As soon as the bell rang we heard the other kids screaming and running down the halls, exploding into the sunlight like some giant, ditzy parade of midgets. Some kids glancing into our classroom wondering what the heck we were doing. 60 whole seconds we stood there. It was agony. To stand at a desk and stare at a clock when we could be spending that precious time swinging on the monkey bars, kicking up rubber mulch and talking with friends from other classes. Now there was no chance I'd get the best swing when I finally got out there, one whole minute later.
It's amazing to me now how quickly a minute goes by. A minute isn't even real time to me anymore. It's a fraction of time. When I plan things with people it takes me at least an hour and a half to get to wherever I'm going. That's 90 minutes. When I was 8, 90 minutes was an entire day. That was 3 episodes of Looney tunes, the time a friend would come over and spend playing with legos. Now, it's simply travel time.
I do have disdain for these hectic days of driving back and forth from state to state, running errands and pumping gas. But I also love these days. Every minute of these days I feel productive, alive, excited. When I have a long list of things to do it's like a challenge. I'm not sure who I'm competing with but in my brain, I feel the need to be the best at all those things I'm doing, get them all done as quickly and efficiently as possible. Laundry and dishes and visits to Maryland. Not a minute is wasted sitting around vegetating in front of the tv. Every minute is spent in motion and every 60 seconds in motion I feel I've won that challenge.